The Diary of an army girlfriend

Completely in love and devoted to a british army infantry soldier, currently serving in afghanistan. 9 months of worry is now in progress.
But i am Jodie Lott, army girlfriend, reporting for duty, and i am ready to face this mission.

Days One-hundred and Twenty-Three to One-hundred and Forty-Three. The Incredible two weeks of his R&R.

Okay, so this is going to be an insanely long post.

Sunday 7th December 2013 was probably one of the best days of my whole entire life. I knew that my soldier was on his way home, and although I knew he would be back late afternoon, I was still up at the crack of sparrows. I stayed at home whilst his mom went to go and fetch him from brise. I waited, and waited, and waited. It was the longest day of my life. It will always be such a clear memory, I was sat on the sofa watching the Tamworth football game on TV and all of a sudden my phone went off with a message from Kieran, along the lines of “Sorry I didn’t text you when I landed baby, I had to wait to get wifi because I haven’t paid my phone bill, but I’m home now so come round”. That was it. I jumped up and ran to my car literally just shouting “I’m going” as I ran out.

I don’t think I have ever drove to his house as fast as I did that day, and I cried the whole way. As I pulled up outside his house, he came outside of his door to meet me. There he was, my GORGEOUS soldier who I had missed so much, stood there in his uniform. I didn’t even take my car keys out of the ignition. I ran to him and jumped into his arms. I have NEVER cried so hard with happiness. And my god, that feeling of being able to feel his arms around me, is indescribable. Just for that split second, it made all of the hell of the past 4 months so worth it. 

It was so surreal to see him walking around his house, I kept crying. It was simply amazing. 

That night we chilled out with his family, got a take away and had an early night. That night was probably THE most perfect night of my life so far. 

And the next morning, I woke up with the biggest smile on my face, to wake up next to him after all of the mornings of waking up on my own, was simply amazing. 

That day we went shopping. And Kieran had his first McDonalds since before he left for Afghanistan. His face was actually hilarious!

After seeing his face light up from fast food, we went and sorted out his families christmas presents. Oh and Kieran bought himself an iPad. 

The next day it was my final day of university, which I had to nip in and do a quick presentation. So we got up early and headed up to Stoke. Kieran hadn’t seen my house so he was excited to see that. And as I ran into uni for 15 minutes, I left him watching Jeremy Kyle in my room. It was literally only 15 minutes which I was out of the house, and that was even with me picking up breakfast for us on the way back. So we decided to go and do a bit more shopping in Hanley seems as we had made the journey up to stoke. We had a great buy whilst we was there…

Matching onesies, Buzz and Woody. This is gay as hell but we found it hilarious. And they are actually really comfy.

That night we stopped at my house, so Kieran could have a chance to see my parents too. We stopped in and watched the football and had some drinks. It was a lovely night.

The next morning we got up and went to my nan and grandads house. We went quite early because Kieran went to Birmingham shopping with some of his mates that afternoon. When he got home, I went to his and dropped off all of the presents for both his birthday and christmas as the days were coming up and I didn’t know if i would be going home before either of them. Kieran then went to play football with the lads and Chloe picked me up from Kierans house. After the lads had finished football, Kieran told me and Chloe to meet them at the pub for a couple of drinks before me and him went back to his house.

Thursday was Kierans birthday. 22 the old fart. We got up and Kieran opened his presents and then we literally chilled for most of the day. We lay on the sofa and watched some films. However, on the night we went out for a meal. Me and Kieran, Chloe and Ryan, George and Heather and Sophie and Ste. It was really nice. We all had a proper laugh and (i think) Kieran got a little squiffy, although he will never admit it. 

Friday morning we went into town. I had my nails done and whilst I was having them done Kieran went into town and had his hair cut and picked up a few bits and bobs. It was that night which Kieran and all of his lads mates went out to Bambu in Birmingham to celebrate his birthday. They all dressed up smart and Kieran looked so lovely in the Ralph Lauren shirt which I bought him for his birthday. However, 3:30am, guess who was doing the maccies run for all of them. Heather was around mine and we went and got them all loads of McDonalds when they got home. It was hilarious, they were all SMASHED! It was brilliant. So lovely to see that Kieran had such a good birthday.

However, I was exhausted the next morning because I was up at 7:30am to be at Traceys shop for 9 to get my hair and tan done. It was a nice relax though. I got back to Kierans house about 1pm and he was still in bed. Hanging. They all were, it was brilliant. Everyone left with in 20 minutes of me being back and Kieran decided to get out of bed, but he just passed out on the sofa, he was so poorly bless him. We snuggled up whilst he tried to pull himself together. Luckily, he felt fine by 4pm. For his birthday I payed for us to go and see the second hobbit in 3D at the think tank in Birmingham, but because I knew he was going out on Friday night I booked it for Saturday night instead of morning. We were meant to be going to the Aston Villa v Man United game, which I had arranged a message on the board at half time, but they changed it to the Sunday, so we couldn’t go, but the message still went up which was nice. But we still really enjoyed going to watch the film. By the time we got back it was about 10pm so we decided to get take away because we was meant to go out for a meal but the majority of places would have been shut by then.

Sunday was christmas day. It was such a lovely day. We all got up in the morning and exchanged all of our presents. It was lovely to see everyone so happy. After that Tracey cooked us all breakfast and we all had a chilled day. Then on the night the whole of his family went out for a christmas meal.

I know I keep saying it, but it was amazing. It was lovely to see the members of his family which I hadn’t seen in a while and it was so lovely that they all include me as the family now. I love them all. They all had a three course christmas meal, and there was me with my steak and chips, fussy buggar I am. We didn’t leave the pub until midnight. 

Monday was a major lazy day. Me and Kieran lay on the sofa all day watching films. Although we wasn’t doing much, these days meant SO much to me, they were perfect, just chilling out.

Tuesday was our night away. For christmas my mom and dad payed for us to stay in the Novotel Hotel in Birmingham. So we got up and went to the train station. When we got into the hotel we literally checked in, checked out the room, which was gorgeous, and then went for lunch. After lunch we walked to the bullring to do some shopping, however, later on we found out that maps on my phone took us the long way instead of the way which would have took us about 5 minutes. Birmingham was heaving, with it only being the week before christmas, people were shopping for that, but it was packed. We only shopped for just over an hour, and we decided to go back to the hotel room and chill out. PERFECTION. Although we had spent a lot of time together before this day, there tended to be more than just the two of us, so it was nice to have some alone time. 

About 6:30/7pm we decided to go out for dinner. We stopped at a restaurant called Coast-to-Coast which was a new place which had opened on broad street. OH MY GOD. It was amazing. I had steak and chips and Kieran had a pork burger. The food was incredible. And the place had such a nice vibe to it. And of course, in good old Kieran fashion, we had cocktails. Yummmm. 

After we finished we decided to go around the german Market.

It was both of our first proper time going so it was lovely to walk and have a proper look at everything. However, we both agreed that we wasn’t going to pay the prices for their alcohol, it was so expensive. So we bought one drink each, to get the cups, and then Kieran went into tesco and bought a bottle of vodka and some coke, and we poured that into our cups and drank that. Walking back to our hotel, we decided to go ice skating. It was hilarious. Kieran could not ice-skate to save his life bless him. 

After that we went back to the hotel room and drank in the room for a couple of hours whilst Kieran danced around the room like he always does. That day and night I laughed the most that I have laughed since before Kieran left for afghan. I love how well we get on with each other as friends as well as a couple. So happy.

On Wednesday, after checking out we decided to go for lunch on the way back to the train station, so we stopped off at the pub. We didn’t get back to my house until about 3pm. That night we went around to Kierans nan and grandad Glenns house because they were cooking him a dinner. We spent the majority of the time laughing at me and my eating habits as I don’t eat anything at all. 

After that I dropped Kieran at the football as he was playing with the lads again. However, after we was stopping at my house, so he got dropped back at my house, had a shower, and then we played cards and had some drinks with my mom and dad. 

On Thursday I didn’t really do much until late Thursday afternoon.  I went to Kierans house to chill out with him for a bit before we went out and we went to his nan and grandad darkes’ house because they cooked Kieran a dinner as well. We decided to go the pub that night, and then after the pub we ended up in town. There was about 10 of us that ended up going. We went into one bar, and we were the only ones in there, and the music was really low. So we had one drink and then decided to go to Kierans favourite bar in the whole world, a bar called Olivers. Again, we were one of the only ones in there, but we were pretty drunk by this point so we decided to go mental. Kieran was having a dance off with a gay lad, the lot. It was brilliant. 

Friday morning, we both woke up hanging. Blergh. Me and Kieran are both terrible for hangovers, so we decided to do sweet FA all day again. This was the day we found out that he had to go back on the Saturday. Booooo! George came around that afternoon and the three of us lay around and watched films and had a big dominos for a hangover cure. We then decided that that night, the three of us and Kierans brother and sister would play a few games and have a few drinks. Kieran and I popped back to my house around 7pm so he could say bye to my parents. This is always the point where it hits me, when I see Kieran saying bye to people. I hate it.

We got back to Kierans about 8:30 and the 5 of us played monopoly for hours, it didn’t seem like it, but it was about 4 hours. We had a right laugh, but I swear that Kieran and George were cheating. 

I got a little upset that night because, again, it was my last night of falling to sleep next to Kieran for a long time. It sounds so silly, but falling to sleep with him and waking up next to him is such a lovely feeling. 

Saturday was a bitter sweet day. We got up and went to ventura so that Kieran could get his last bits to take back with him, and we decided to go for lunch. The day just seemed to be zipping by. We then went back to his house and started packing up his stuff. I had a lump in my throat the whole day.

When Kierans mom got back from work I left and gave them some alone time to say their goodbyes because she was going out on a works do that night, so it was a little crap that him going back fell on that night because they couldn’t take him to the airport. When I left then it was really starting to hit me, and that was when the all well known heavy heart started to make a re-appearance. 

By the time I got back to his house, his nan and grandad darkes had come around to say their goodbyes. I hate it, I hate seeing everyone say goodbye to him. It is honestly the worst feeling in the whole world. That was when the tears started. Literally on and off all night. I can’t explain how it feels, it actually really hurts knowing I was going to have to say goodbye to him again and that this was the last time I was going to be able to cuddle him for 5 months. Argh. That night FLEW by. Before I knew it, it was 1am and his nan and grandad glenn were at his to pick him up. 

Hysterical doesn’t explain my state. It definitely doesn’t get any easier saying goodbye for the second time. Kieran hates it when I cry, and he just kept trying to make me laugh. But my god, the pain was awful. That known heartbreak had crept back up upon me. Seeing him walk away from me in his uniform was the hardest thing I have ever done. I just wanted to run after him and beg him not to go, but no matter what I waned, or how much I wanted it, I had to let him go. Watching the car pull off literally killed me, watching his face looking at me out of the back of the car get further and further away was the worst feeling in the whole world. Driving back to my nans house, I couldn’t keep it together. I had to stop my car,  I was crying that hard I thought I was going to be sick. And when I got into my nans house, I literally broke down. I felt so weak and I just lay on my bed and cried myself to sleep. My sleep that night was so broken too. I was constantly drifting off and waking up, half expecting Kieran to be there. 

The next day was really hard again. I kept crying and I literally didn’t want to do anything. It was as if Kieran being home had been all a dream and I had finally woke up to reality. The two weeks I spent with him were the most PERFECT two weeks ever, they just went SO fast. I feel lost again.

I haven’t really done much this week. The only thing which I really have done was Christmas day. It was a really nice day with my family, and I was so lucky with all of the lovely things which I had. It was also really nice to see how happy my nan was. This time last year she was really ill with cancer and wasn’t able to enjoy christmas very much, but this year she was singing, dancing, laughing, it was lovely to see. The only thing which would have made it perfect was if Kieran would have been here. I thoroughly enjoyed the day, but I did feel like there was something missing.

Last night my parents had some friends and family around for some drinks. Tracey and Paul came around and they brought around this…

A canvas of Kierans images from afghan. It is BEAUTIFUL and made me smile so much. I am so proud of him.

It has been a week today since Kieran left. It feels like so much longer. This time last week I was snuggling up to him, knowing we was in our last hours together. It feels like a life time ago already. I am back to the point of aching for him and desperate to see him. It is so difficult. But I have so many incredible memories to help me through the next 5 months and I have never felt so in love with this man and so strong as a couple. I just hope these months hurry.

Days One-hundred and Eighteen to One-hundred and Twenty-Two. OH MY F**KING GOD!

Right, so I haven’t wrote in a couple of days because I have been so busy finishing my work and handing it in, thats all you need to know apart from this…

KIERAN IS ON HIS WAY HOME RIGHT NOW!!! TWO DAYS EARLIER THAN HIS DUE DATE! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! 

WORDS CANNOT DESCRIBE HOW UTTERLY EXCITED I AM! 

All of the waiting and the worrying makes it completely worth it just to feel the way I do now, and he’s not even home yet!!

I am so utterly excited I don’t know how to even put it into words!!! SO GOD DAMN HAPPY!!!!

ROLL ON TOMORROW WHERE I CAN SEE MY SOLIDER - FINALLY <3

Days One-hundred and Fourteen to One-hundred and Seventeen. Excited, doesn’t cut it.

Literally all I have been doing the past couple of days is work.

Work, work work, work, work. I am due to hand my work in a week tomorrow so it has literally been full steam ahead. 

On friday I went to a crit at uni in the morning which went well as my lecturer was happy with the image which I had produced. I then spent the rest of the day in the studio shooting.

Saturday and Sunday, literally work, all day, none stop. 

Apart from yesterday I had a bit of a Facetime with my parents at home as they were putting up the Christmas decorations, and as we usually do it as a family, and I couldn’t be there, we decided to facetime. It really made me smile because they have bought a new fiberoptic tree this year, and because of that, they didn’t need any ornaments for it. But they bought one.

They sent me this picture of the Star ornament, and said ‘we have one, a star, to guide Kieran safely home’. It made me smile so much. It is such a lovely idea.

And today I have literally been shooting all day. Danie came up from Tamworth to help me out with a shoot. 

I feel like it went really well. And we had such a laugh whilst shooting.

TOMORROW IT IS ONE WEEK UNTIL KIERAN IS DUE HOME! Excited, doesn’t even cut it. I literally get into bed of a night, really tired, and then think about how close it is to him being home, and PING, I am wide awake. I know this is going to be the longest week of my life.

I CANNOT WAIT until next Tuesday.

Army girlfriend out.

Days One-hundred and Eight to One-hundred and Thirteen. I am SO SO EXCITED.

Friday it was time to go home again. I got back to Tamworth and first went to see my nan and grandad, and then my other nan. I love seeing my grandparents, they are all so amazing. I then went home and waited for my parents to come home. They came home and this was the first time that I had seen them since my birthday, so we sat down, had dinner and I opened my cards and presents. It was a lovely night in with them.

I also had a chat with Kieran over facebook.  He randomly came online, quite late, so it was a nice surprise. The best part of it was the fact that he sent me this photo.

This was the christmas hat which I sent him in a box to try and get him excited for his leave. It worked. He loves it and it made me smile SO much to see him. Amazing.

On Saturday I had a busy day again. I went to my cousin Rachels baby shower which was really lovely. It was lovely to see her so ‘in bloom’, she was glowing. It was also lovely to see some of my family who I haven’t seen in a while.

On that evening it was my family birthday meal. Me, my mom, my dad, my nan and grandad, my nan, my auntie and Courtney all went out to a local pub for a meal. It was really nice, as I always say, the only thing missing was Kieran. 

Sunday, was exhausting, amazing, but exhausting. I had another fashion shoot with Danie.

It was pretty cold and it was a long day but the outcome was really good and I was really happy. It was also nice to see and catch up with her as I hadn’t seen her in ages. I was up until god knows what time editing the images. I was just so excited about them.

Monday was the day to travel back to uni. I have done this trip so many times in the past few weeks I could do it with my eyes closed. Once I arrived back I literally worked, and dropped off my lighting kit back to uni. For the next week is it literally work work work work to get it done in time for Kierans leave.

Tuesday, was an exciting day. TWO WEEKS until Kierans R&R, SO EXCITING. I actually cannot wait, it is going to be amazing. Again all of that day I just worked. I went into uni on the morning and spent a few hours printing, and then came home and carried on with more work. I finally got my magazine finished.

Today I went on a shoot to the Spode factory, it was good, but FREEZING. It was more cold in the factory than it was in outside. I originally only went to help out, however, I got a few good shots myself.

And it happened, a call from Kieran tonight. He got me so so so excited. I have been in such a good mood since speaking to him on the phone. We kept talking about his R&R and all of the plans which we have, it was lovely to hear him get excited about it all too. I am sooooo excited to be able to say that it is less than two weeks until my man is home.

Hurry hurry hurry hurry.

Army girlfriend out.

jocefish1991 asked: Hello. I have followed you for weeks now and I have been gaining the courage to message you. (I can be shy at first) I have a boyfriend in the army and we have been dating since August. We are crazy for each other and we are both committed and happy. He's going on a nine month deployment next week. At first I was terrified but now I have come to terms with what is about to happen. I just want to know if it will get easier and how bad it will hurt? Also wanted to say your posts help me cope.

Hello there, never feel like you can’t message, I am more than happy to help with anything I can.

I can’t lie to you, it is VERY tough and it does hurt a lot at first, and it will hurt throughout the deployment, however, you do get used to it. I can’t say to you that it will get ‘easier’ but you get into a kind of routine. You will go through phases of ups and downs, and there will be times where you might question of whether you can do this, but you can. Just keep persistent. You have dedicated your time to your man and no matter how difficult it may seem you must make sure that you are there for him, you will keep him going, and when it is all over, it will make you a much stronger couple. 

And thank you, if you need to chat feel free to message me.

Days One-hundred & four to One-hundred & seven. He still made it perfect

Monday I drove back to uni, it took a lot of effort because it was freezing cold outside and the weather was awful so all I wanted to do was stay in bed. If Kieran would have been there, there would have been DEFINITELY no way of me moving. 

So much went wrong for me on Monday, I got to Stoke and my car broke, so I spent a couple of hours sat in my car, trying to fix it on the phone to my dad and FINALLY it fixed. I got in to find that a present I had ordered came broken which annoyed me even more. The most sad news though was my Auntie Mandy passed away on Sunday night. God bless you auntie mand, love you always.

On Tuesday the bad days carried on, I woke up with my eyes so swollen that I couldn’t even see, it really wasn’t my few days. I literally sat in bed all day on Tuesday and did LOADS of work. Seems as I only just have two weeks to get it all done I am now at full steam ahead with my work. It’s stressful at the minute, but it means that I get to spend Kierans R&R with him, so it is so worth it. 

WEDNESDAY WAS MY BIRTHDAY. 20…20… how the hell did that happen? I am so old now. Urgh. Courtney turned up at my door with an open box of brownies (because I don’t like cake) with candles in them, singing happy birthday to me. She also bought me breakfast and some other little goodies around, it was lovely, bless her. Again, I spent most of the day in bed chilling out. Courtney and I had planned to go to the cinema on the night and she was in uni on the day so I just chilled. All I could think though was that I wish Kieran was here to celebrate with me. However, there was a big knock at the door around 2pm and there was a man with a huge box which he handed me. I came in and opened it to find a dozen red roses, a balloon which said ‘I love you’ on it, chocolate and a card. I HAVE THE BEST BOYFRIEND IN THE WHOLE WORLD.

I cried so many happy tears. He wasn’t even here and he still made it so perfect. The BEST birthday present I have ever had. He completely made my day. I still can’t stop looking at them, they are so amazing. I also got a phone call from him. Without him being here, he really did make my day man so so much.

Later on me and Courtney went to watch Bad Grandpa, it was pretty funny. We then came back and munched a big Dominos. When I came back though Chloe had posted a card and some presents through my door. One of them is AMAZING. She bought me a car sticker saying ‘3 Mercian Girlfriend’.

It is so cute! I can’t wait to clean my car and get it on. All in all it was a lovely day. And the only way it could have possibly been better would be to have Kieran here in person, but he definitely made up for not being here, the cutie.

Today, again it has been all work work work, but I enjoy it so it is good. But one thing today really did make me smile. One of the soldiers had uploaded a group picture of them with christmas hats on.

Seeing them always brings a tear to my eye, especially this one. To see that people are sending out christmas stuff for them really is lovely. Makes me even more excited for our own little christmas when Kieran is home. Also the reindeer hat which Kieran is wearing is one which I had sent out to him which really made me smile.

It is so close now to Kieran leaving his PB. On a massive countdown. FULL steam ahead with my work. Hurry up December and my man.

Army girlfriend out.

militarysoconfessions:

Confession #754: No matter where in this world you go, no matter how long it takes. When you get home I will be here waiting for you, just like I promised. Forever and ever.
photo submitted by legoxmego

militarysoconfessions:

Confession #754: No matter where in this world you go, no matter how long it takes. When you get home I will be here waiting for you, just like I promised. Forever and ever.

photo submitted by legoxmego

(via themilsonetwork)

Days Ninety-eight to One-Hundred & Three. Work work work.

This week has been pretty hectic. 

I have been trying my hardest to get as much work done as possible so I can have Kierans R&R off with him. And that is what I did on Tuesday, worked as much as possible.

I have been really uninspired for one of the modules in my course, but then the epiphany happened. I was at my nans house, going to pick the dog up and we were chatting about my work and an idea randomly clicked. And then from talking she helped me develop a few other ideas from that. FINALLY. Now just to get back and shoot the ideas. It was nice because I went out for dinner with my mom on Tuesday night too.

On wednesday again, I did work, developing off of my new ideas.

Thursday was a bit more of a busy day. My nan called me on Wednesday night and asked if she could take me out for lunch on Thursday, so thats what we did. It was nice because I don’t get to see my nan loads, so it was nice to spend some quality time with her. On Thursday afternoon I went and had my nails done by Lise at Traceys shop. As always, it was lovely to chat with them all. Then on the night me and my mom went to bingo. 

Friday morning I went and watched Life of Pi with my nan, I had already seen it but my nan hadn’t so I took it round to watch it with her. Then I went to have a Tan with Tracey, we had a good old chat which is always nice. 

My nan and grandad got back from holiday on Thursday night and on Friday my nan had her operation, following her operation from breast cancer. So when they had got back from the hopsital I went around to see her. They both looked really well, even my nan although she was in pain.

And it happened. Caller ID ‘Kieran Afghan’. I was so so grateful to hear from him because it had been 2 weeks since I had heard off of him. Then I found out why. He had been in hospital for 4 days on a drip because he had caught Salmonella. He had only been out of the hospital an hour and he was on the phone to me. Bless him, he really has had a bad time recently. However, he sounded SO happy. All he kept saying was how excited he was to see me and how excited he is to do things on his R&R. It put me in such a good mood hearing him so happy. It really is true, when he is happy, I am happy.

On Friday night I went around to Hayleys with the girls for a children in need night. It was lovely. There was loads of food, and loads of girly gossip, oh, and we pinned Mike (Hayleys fiancé) down and did his make up, which was hilarious.

This weekend was my ‘friend’ birthday weekend. A couple of people from uni came down to Tamworth and a couple of friends came out too. We only had a night out in Tamworth but it was a good night. I just wish Kieran had been there to make it even better. There was so many things which reminded me of Kieran, everything from songs to places.

Today, I haven’t felt too good. Not particularly hungover, but really tired, so today I haven’t done a lot at all. Kieran very briefly messaged me this morning at 7am which woke me up but he must have been on for literally minutes and gone because when I replied he had already gone offline. It was lovely to wake up to though, even after only a couple of hours sleep. 

Today would just be completely perfect if Kieran was here (every day would be even more perfect, but particularly this one) all I want to do is snuggle up and watch films, and it’s just not the same doing it on your own. But my excitement cannot be controlled, it is finally getting so close to seeing my man, I just want it to hurry.

Army girlfriend out.

lordlykisses asked: my husband just deployed, and i have no family nearby. i was wondering if you had any tips for helping to keep oneself together?

Keep busy!! There is nothing worse than sitting around doing nothing, allowing your self to have loads of time to think. I have put myself into that position a number of times and it really doesn’t help at all. 

Arrange things to do with your friends, explain to them the situation and how you need to stay busy. I’m sure they will understand. Regular contact with your family will help you too. It must be difficult that they aren’t close, but you may find yourself feeling like you need to go and visit them. I live away from my family, luckily they’re only an hour drive away, but I find myself often needing to pop back and see them.

Also have a look and see if there are any support groups near you. My man is in 3 mercian and they hold army support and information groups at least once a month. They are really useful as everyone there is in the same boat, they completely understand what you are going through. 

My biggest tip would be to take one day at a time. Set little goals for yourself each day. Even if it’s something really small and may seem insignificant. It helps. Don’t let yourself slip into a state where you don’t want to get out of bed because that can get really easy to do. You will find if you keep busy, your time away from your husband will seem to go a bit quicker than it would if you sit around doing something.

It is a really tough time to have a loved one deployed, but you can’t stop living your life either. And I’m sure that is the last thing he would want you to do. Go out, have fun. Try to focus your mind on something other than his deployment. Of course he will always be on your mind, but if you simply have those thoughts, and that is it, it will drive you crazy.

Also the MILSO’s on tumblr are all amazing, always here for a chat and to pick you up if you’re down. So feel free to contact me if you need a rant or an opinion on something. We may not know each other personally, but sometimes we are more useful than even our closest friends, as we all understand.

Days Ninety-six and Ninety-seven. That smell…

When I was in bed on Saturday night, I rolled over in bed and I had a huge smell of Kieran. It was so strange. And then it clicked. I had spent a good hour in Kierans house that day, and the smell of his house was in my hair. Oh it was lovely. It sounds so weird I know but it was really refreshing, and for a moment I could really imagine him being there with me.

Yesterday was a major lazy day, like the days me and Kieran have all the time, not getting out of bed unless necessary, and just watching loads of films. That was until the night. On the night I went round to Hayleys house with Sophie. It was so nice to see them. It was like a breath of fresh air. It was nice because we could talk about Kieran openly. To them it’s not just ‘Jodies boyfriend is in afghan’ it is ‘Kieran is in afghan’ and because they know him, they are interested in what I have to say. I feel so lucky to have this group of girls in my life, especially through times like this. It was also nice to have some ‘girl time’ aka watching tv, having a gossip and eating crap.  

However, yesterday and today have been a little emotional as it has been remembrance days. Both days I have done the 2 minutes silence and had a long thought for all of the soldiers who have both sacrificed their lives for our freedom, and those soliders still fighting for us today. I can’t explain how proud I am of Kieran.

Today again, I haven’t done too much. I did some uni work and put Kieran some boxes together. There are now three boxes next to my door, waiting to be posted tomorrow. I love sending out these boxes to him. Just to think that they might put a little smile on his face is perfect for me. 

But it will be even more perfect in 28 days. Hurry home Darkes.

Army girlfriend out.

Days Ninety-four and Ninety-five. The Three month mark.

As of yesterday Kieran has been away for 3 months. Although it seems a lot longer. Yet 3 months is a long time to be away from home, and for me to have not seen him. The past 3 months have been the most tough 3 months ever, and I’m sure they have been just as, even not more tough for Kieran. I cannot wait for his R&R.

I drove back to Tamworth yesterday, and I finally had an alright sleep compared to the past few nights. Theres something about being at home that relaxes me a little more, even though the thoughts and worry still haven’t gone away.

One thing I really miss are the goodnight and good morning texts. And this morning I woke up to the next closest thing. Kieran had messaged me on facebook at 4am (which would have been 8:30am his time) just saying “Mornin darlin, wish I was with you! Hope you’re ok x I love you so much xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx”. That was it, sweet and simple, but it was SO wonderful to wake up to that. I haven’t heard off him any more, but that was lovely to have. I just can’t wait for a phone call. I just want to hear his voice.

Today me and my mom went into town, and I have picked up a load of stuff to send to him in his next box which I will send on Monday. We also decided to pick a bunch of flowers up for Tracey and Paul as it has been an extremely tough time the past week and we hoped it may cheer them up a little. 

I took them around to Tracey and Pauls house around 4:30pm this afternoon. It was lovely to see Tracey and Kierans brother Kane. I sat there for ages chatting with them about loads of things. I love how well I get on with his family. I love how I can go round and chat with them even though he is not here. 

I have just got in from a meal with my parents at a local pub. It was nice to get out and have a meal with them. When I come home we usually don’t have enough time to do stuff like that so I really enjoyed it. Again, as I always say, the only way it could have been better, would be if Kieran would have been able to join us. Soon…soon.

Army girlfriend out.